This makes me laugh, and I hope you’ll see the funny side too. I was reading my journals and thought I’d do entries from different years, this post is about my life eleven years ago, and it was certainly a bit out of leftfield, the entry is as follows..
Well- I woke up at 3.30am! First day nerves I think – I had a lovely walk with Charlie down the estuary, I also went for a short run around the village – felt good once I’d done it, did struggle a bit though, was harder than I thought it would be!
I got back and had a shower, prepared myself beautifully – thankfully my money was in! Phew! I set off early, popped to Tesco to shop – new bag, condoms, lube, baby oil, all the essentials! Got on my way, just got on with it really, I was nervous but I have been nervous in situations before. I was early so stopped and got myself together, then I met Richard! Oh my gosh, this man was like a Carry On film character, it was just ludicrous really – but he was harmless enough – turns out he saw Emily on Tuesday and she thought the same as me- we laughed so much – what are the chances – the only other escort I know and we saw the same man in the same week! Weird!!!!
It wasn’t the nicest sex but it wasn’t scary or weird – funny more than anything – men are easy to please – he was very odd – a lorry driver – we did it in his sons room!!! I mean come on…certainly interesting…thank god most of them are NOT like that! So I survived – once it was over it was like it never happened – was busy thinking about home, Charlie and the funniness of it all. I was expecting to see a chap called Lee tonight in Barnstaple but he cancelled due to work stuff – rebooking for next week, quite nice really to just relax and let it soak in slowly.
I told Ollie tonight, he thought it was very modern – we had a laugh about it which was cool. Quite sleepy now – need my beauty sleep! Wonder what tomorrow will bring…I’ve had an enquiry privately- seems a nice chap, possible booking at Saunton Sands Hotel on Monday evening, be good to have an enjoyable one, with some treats and romance. Not expecting too much though- look at today – Carry On Richard!!!
I write about this period in detail in my memoir but wanted to share this snippet as it shows how willing I was to follow this different path and embrace it so fully, I’d totally abandoned my old self and was clearly enjoying the deviance of it all. The escort agency I signed up with had called me Faith, and it was like playing a role, doing a performance, I enjoyed the unpredictable nature, you were forced to live in the moment as there was nothing else, I liked having to rely on my instincts, and I had no moral concerns, free love, consenting adults, I’d always been liberal. I gave up a job as a trainee CBT therapist to escort just a week before this entry, life can change so suddenly, I love life for that, no matter what change is possible. For me the change was about letting go of trying to be good or proper, or to remain respectable and upstanding, who was I to coach or counsel others, I was a mess and decided it was best to abandon myself to the mess rather than resist, little did I know this choice would not be so funny in the end.
“Men will pay large sums to whores, For telling them they are not bores”
W H Auden 1940
“The prostitute is not, as feminists claim, the victim of men, but rather their conqueror, an outlaw, who controls the sexual channels between nature and culture”
― Camille Paglia