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Looking through these photo’s I’m reminded of how much I loved to capture things, even in the midst of addiction I wanted to record life, and not just the happy photo ready moments, I wanted all the shades.
When I look at the photo’s of me, I can see how dead my eyes look, and one of the things I celebrated as part of my recovery, was when I looed in the mirror and my eyes were no longer pinned, my pupils were reacting again, my eyes looked bright and alive. There’s a hollowness in my ‘using’ eyes, and I remember vividly looking in the mirror and seeing this expression looking back at me.
I’m not sure if my junkie ways are what people would expect, myself and my partner would often go off on little adventures, camping or hiking, just being out and about doing stuff, and when I was alone I would take pictures, of Charlie, of myself, of the places I lived. The caravan in the photo’s was my home for a while, it was called the Super Carnival and I’d often comment that life felt that way at times, possibly more of a pantomime! The flat in the photo’s was my home for a few years during my addiction, it had stunning views out to see and on a clear day you could see Lundy Island, which in Norse, means Puffin Island, it’s a beautiful place and I’d recommend a visit.
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Such sad eyes compared to now.
Is that pit Delabole?
And I’ve just read the text as well as look at the photos – you say the same about your eyes. What’s that about eyes being the ‘window to the soul’? 🙂
Thanks for your comments, yes, they certainly are the windows to the soul, mine was lost at that time, and as your comment indicates, that’s clear to see. Photo’s remind me of how far I’ve come, and I love feeling alive and seeing light in my eyes, glad you noticed too. Thanks for commenting.
Our dog is called Charlie as well and he’s also seen the best & worst of me 🙂